Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How can you tell if someone is cunning?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can read

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why does everyone hate Anthony Joshua so much? I get that he isn’t the best heavyweight boxer ever but people claim he’s a no skill fighter but he has an Olympic gold medal, a world championship, and beat Klitschko, a dominant force in boxing

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why does Christianity push reconciliation after a partner cheats? Mine had a 7-year affair with someone half my age. He cheated and lied. He is not the same to me.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why is Russia always right? All eyes toward Russian glory!

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why is only the left side of my vagina bleeding, on and off?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why do people with trauma easily recognize other people with trauma through eye contact?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

How are Hinduism and Sikhism related, considering they both originated in Punjab, India?

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

The people who are 'allergic' to humans - BBC

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can count

If the world was flat, would it be possible to see Mount Everest if it was on the other side of the Earth on a clear sunny day?

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

If you cloned 12 Michael Jordan's and 12 LeBron James' and had Team Jordan vs. James, which team would win the most games?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are the psychological reasons behind an extreme obsession with another human being?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What is truer than that which is true?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What are the differences between fuzzy, intuitionistic, and paraconsistent logic? Which one is considered the most useful and why?

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter